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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments often turn “detached from reality”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically followed by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from those around him. He first suspected he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors online – and was later confirmed by a specialist. But, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t previously arrived at that conclusion by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, because of so much stigma around the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to enhance their social status through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Though three-quarters of people found to have the condition are males, research points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” notes an individual who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she says, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this response – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples as a child. I’ve had to teach myself continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his doctor, John was referred to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: The estimate was it is likely to occur early next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he says. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number